Dealing with Difficult People

Devotion written by Jaime Sicairos

1Th 5:15 See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

Dealing with Difficult People:

Everyone probably knows someone that causes joy when they walk into the room and yet we all probably know someone that causes joy when they walk out of the room. I really am just trying to be transparent in the matter than none of us particularly enjoy dealing with difficult people. Just because we don’t like it does not change our Christian responsibility to still deal with them with compassion and grace. In fact, there is much in the scriptures that teach us how to deal with difficult people. Let me share a few highlights with you.

  1. Consider yourself-

Before we ask, “What’s their problem?” Let us first ask, “What is my problem?” Did you ever consider that maybe it seems that someone is being difficult because we have done something knowingly or unknowingly to offend them? Have you been gracious to them? How has your speech and attitude been around them? I have learned that sometimes when it seems like they were being difficult, it was me that was being difficult. We should be cautious about examining others, we should be diligent in examining ourselves.


Ro 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.


  1. Guard your Tongue-

Col 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.


This text is specifically addressing a principle on how we should “answer every man.” It is a specific command on how to speak and when to speak. The how is the “always with grace, seasoned with salt.” The when is, “alway.” Simply put, this is how we should speak all the time. When someone is speaking negatively towards us or worse attacking us, our nature is to respond with the same. If we are gracious in our speech, we will not respond in an inappropriate manner. How many times have we said something and as soon as we said it, we wished we had not? IMPORTANT biblical truth, just because it’s on your mind, does not mean you should say it!


Pr 29:11 ¶ A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.


Specifically, until after you have calmed down and gained control of your emotions. Recently a friend reminded me that, “when tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.” We also find a biblical truth to support that idea.


Pr 15:1 ¶ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.


  1. Walk Away-

Sometimes the best response is no response at all.

Joh 8:6  This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.


Even Christ when provoked didn’t always respond. A response is not always necessary. Godly wisdom is not just knowing what to say but when to say it. It simply may not be the right time to say anything.


  1. Pray for Them-

It is difficult to be truly angry with people when you have truly prayed for them. I don’t mean to pray just out of principle, I mean to pray for them with the right motives.


Mt 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;


  1. Treat them with Compassion-

1Pe 3:8 ¶ Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:      9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.      10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:      11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.


The bible is very clear on treating people with compassion (and in the context of this passage) specially those who have not treated us right. In fact, it says to not only not respond with evil but to be a blessing. You may have no clue what that person is dealing with, what they are going through, or news they just received. Consider it an opportunity to be a blessing and encouragement to them. Pray and ask the Lord how you may help them. Just like in construction it is easy to tear down but harder to build up. There is enough out there tearing down, let us build up. As a disciple of Christ, will people believe you are in the demolition business, or the business of building up?


Joh 13:35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.


Devotion written by Jaime Sicairos